illegalaustralien:

gotta love the new algorithm

joshpeckofficiall:

i just saw graffiti and all it said was ‘bagels!’….i’m really happy somebody is passionate enough about bagels to spray paint it on a wall

(Source: joshpeck, via illegalaustralien)

metafuneral:

ajaxdotcom:

metafuneral:

teacher: hey you are failing your classes idiot

student: you know what teach? i dont give a swag *walks out*

that student.. as you may have already guessed.. was albert einstein

um..i think you made this up for notes?

first of all, how dare you

(Source: stagnantwater447-8995, via illegalaustralien)

samephonewhothis:

frawgs:

frawgs:

i just saw my cousin on tinder can i die shes gonna know i’m gay

WAIT THAT MEANS

(via ejacu-early)

gods-oats:

ommanyte:

Big lick energy

Alternative:

(via teenagerposts)

deansthomass:

when i was about 8 (bearing in mind deathly hallows was released when i was about 15) i wrote a harry potter fanfiction where harry and ginny where married and it was the morning of the september 1st and they were taking their 3 kids to the platform to meet ron, hermione, and their kids. i dont remember what the weasley kids were called, but i do remember that harrys kids were called lily, james, and for some reason mercury bob. i dont know why mercury bob, but i do know its still less stupid than albus severus.

(Source: ddraco, via illegalaustralien)

super-affection:

was ringing up a customer and added his coupons, he was surprised it took off so much off the total and i accidentally said “well tits the season!” instead of tis the season but he let out a very long and powerful “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell yeah”

(via ejacu-early)

snout:

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

(via illegalaustralien)

anarcho-kaibaism:

hot-chubbies-with-cheese:

jerryterry:

vodka-zamolodchikova:

me: [accidentally closes a chrome window with 50+ tabs]

my laptop, gently weeping: oh my god………… oh ym hgod thank you so much……….. thank y

Me, realizing my mistake, reopening Chrome and preparing to mash ctrl+shift+T to bring them all back one by one:

My computer:

my computer watching me click the “Restore” option for all of my tabs after shutting down unnaturally:

You should all be detained ASAP

(Source: actualcyclops, via illegalaustralien)